My night at Zum Schneider:
1. Walk to the subway in full gorilla costume (2 gawkers)
2. Take subway to Zum Schneider. Have interaction with the Doo-Wop Time buskers. Wonder if their selection of “In the Jungle” is inspired by my outfit
3. Walk from the 8th St. N stop to Zum Schneider (1 gawker)
4. Panic as I’m the last in line to get checked in by the bouncer as I hear a man shout out from the bar “The Can-Can.” Enter to the end of the Can-Can, averting disaster. Do not notice the fish-net legged tu-tu wearing mannequin bottom halfs stuck to the ceiling. Do notice all the women on stage in corsets and fishnets. Pretend to groom the girl sitting in front of me.
5. Get grabbed by one of the aforementioned corset and fishnet clad performers to go up on stage and participate in a German beer tasting competition. Get blindfolded. The only preparation is hearing my competition go first to the sounds of “Drink! Drink! Drink!” in a German accent.
6. Participate to the sounds of “Drink! Drink! Drink!” in a German accent. Stay in character when asked what kind of beer it was and reply, “Bananas?” Receive no laughter. Spend the rest of the night with the owner coming up and saying “You fucked up!”
7. Eat weisswurst. Drink steins of excellent German beer.